The author of the article below has some really great insights. I think the first couple items are of particular importance. We’ve always been concerned about illnesses in our household because of Karen’s other medical conditions, and the cancer diagnosis has only strengthened this concern for us. The author’s comments about unplanned home visits is just as important, and I’m very grateful that our friends have shown so much empathy.
Please don’t be hesitant to text or call… We won’t always have our phones nearby, and may not be able to chat or text right away, but short texts in particular are a nice way to communicate with either of us.
I apologize that I don’t often initiate text updates. I know many people want to know how Karen is faring, and it must seem like we’re ignoring some of our dearest friends. More than one person has shared that they didn’t want to bother us, and were wondering why we didn’t update.
It’s hard to describe how difficult it is for me to give updates. We don’t want to bother our friends either, but there is another challenge for me. Some of our friends are comfortable discussing very difficult topics, while others are uncomfortable at the merest mention of something that seems very innocuous to us, and it has little to do with how close the friendship is. So, that often leaves me questioning what to say in an update. Thank you for understanding that sometimes I just don’t know how to gauge that, and simply don’t know what to say. And since many of our friends are connected to each other, it isn’t always clear who needs updated. So, in this I will often feel more comfortable following your lead. Please don’t be afraid to reach out when you feel the need.
I hope you find the following article as helpful as I did.
7 Rules You Should Follow When Visiting Someone With Cancer
Sincerely,
Charlie
Dear Karen:
You are in my heart and prayers.
Positive No Matter What!