Karen always gave of herself. It’s one of the things she’s remembered for by friends, and even by strangers. Although she was secretly introverted (and I’ll speak of that another time), she was lightning fast to step in and offer help when needed.
She loved to help people who wanted to better themselves. Sometimes it’s hard for people to accept help, and we all know people who absolutely refuse to accept criticism, but Karen had a way about her that eliminated those obstacles. When she told you a thing, you had to accept it as truth.
But why? It’s because the truth she told wasn’t what another might. While somebody else might tell you things to make you feel bad, she would never intentionally do so. She shared insight without incrimination, and the natural urge to be defensive was always suppressed. When she shared with you, she was giving of herself, not trying to take anything away from you. She was giving you a piece of herself, and it meant something.
Shortly after she passed, I packaged up old clothes she never wore, and some miscellaneous unimportant stuff into boxes for donation. This week, I finally donated them to a charity. It was surprisingly hard, even after so much time. Even though none of these things were important, I still felt like I was giving away a part of her. Fortunately it wasn’t all bad. I was glad to finally do something good with the stuff. It certainly wasn’t doing anybody else any good.
This was the first time I’ve donated her stuff to charity, but not the first time I’ve given things to friends and family over the last year and a half. I’ve asked people about some items, ad I’m glad they spoke up. I don’t know where almost any of her things came from. Heck, I don’t even know where most of my stuff came from! But I would really like important items to go to people who would use them to help remember her, now and into the future.
The most valuable things I have are the things where Karen gave of herself. It’s the things she spent her time on, and put her love into. I have things I cherish, and I would fight to the death before giving those up, but the other stuff is just stuff to me, and I will donate that to charities, or to friends that want it. It’s not too late to speak up if I have something that would mean something to you.
Karen gave me many things. We started a business together, and the business still sees her as its litmus test. We ask “what would Karen do.” We try to keep her memory alive by speaking of her often, and by doing things like offering free wildflower seed packets to our customers with orders (message me and I’ll send you some for free).
I’d hate to give anything away that means something to you, so reach out to me if you have something in mind. But please understand if I can’t provide it. The only consequence of asking is that I might say no, but I’d feel really bad if I did. I’d definitely NOT hold it against you, because it would mean that you value something that I also valued. <3
Thank you, Charlie, for sharing your feelings and giving others the opportunity to connect with Karen in a tangible way. I often wondered what you would do with “Santa Claus” figures I gave to Karen and you through the years. If I may, I would like to have some of them back, along with the brown, leather purse she carried with the “special compartment” on the outside and the large, round, cut-glass tray from the punch bowl set; this was a gift from my deceased sister-in-law for our wedding in 1969.
Lovingly,
Hi Charlie,
Love reading you posts about Karen. It really is keeping her memory alive although it is impossible to ever forget those we love. As regards her belongings there is nothing of hers that I need since the time I was privileged to spend with her and the experiences we shared are enough for me. I don’t know if you remember the ceramic Christmas tree and Nativity I had made for my mother (Karen’s grandmother) then passed on to Karen after my mother’s death. If you still have it and if it has no meaning for you, I would like to have it back in order to pass it on to one of my other brothers or sisters and their families since it is a family heirloom. If you feel like you want to keep it, it is yours with my Blessing. Always with Love & Prayers, Aunt Ceil
You summed up Karen perfectly. Thanks for continuing to share. ?