Half the year is over, and we’re not quite sure where it went. This week Karen had the energy and time to put around in the yard (when it wasn’t too hot), and generally be up and about. It was a “good week,” for the most part.
Yesterday we visited the doctor and he was encouraging. He feels that Karen is weathering the program nicely, and is anxious for the next PET scan to see if there has been progress. Until then, there really isn’t much to report.
The treatment regimen is broken down into a three week cycle, with different treatment each week. The first week is the huge combo dose of Carboplatin, Gemzar, and Avastin. That is always a “bad week” where Karen doesn’t feel up to doing much. During this, even going out for a quick bite to eat is draining, and entertaining guests is near impossible.
The second week she receives Gemzar alone, and during that week she has mostly bad days with a few good ones mixed in. This is still not a good time to do much, but she is able to be up and about a little more, and we sometimes eat in town (Washington Courthouse) or take a quick trip to the store. During these trips it takes Karen a lot of effort to “seem normal.” I think people underestimate how much energy it takes to act OK when you feel anything but. The effort to seem normal for even a short period can completely drain her for the rest of a day, so we still avoid long trips anywhere.
The third week of the cycle is a breath of fresh air, but still a little lousy. Actually, that does sum up the air when living in the country, doesn’t it? We’re surrounded by farm fields, so the “fresh air” is sometimes filled with smells. And imagine how Karen’s sensitive nose feels on those days! Yes, I’ve decided, that sums it up nicely… Even the fresh air can be shitty sometimes. That’s what the third week is.
On those days (third week days, not stinky farm days) Karen feels just well enough to want to do things, but feels fatigued when she actually tries to do them. And then she can’t help but lament about how well she should feel while actually doing them. It’s a struggle to hold on to the joys of life when you can do a thing you enjoy, but it makes you physically feel lousy doing it, and leaves you drained after. It can turn pleasurable activities into a cruel taunt when we’re not careful. Thank goodness (and mom) for the nice little Kubota tractor with power steering! It’s probably hard to imagine something (work related) bringing such joy, but it does. I highly recommend it! And our landscapers (Mike’s Landscaping out of Circleville) are coming back out soon to do some grading to eliminate some of the bumpy ground she rides over.
I think for the first time, we didn’t celebrate Independence Day in a traditional way, even though it was a good week. Instead, we relaxed and binge watched a little TV. We spent a little time escaping troubles of our own and watched some imaginary ones on TV. It was a good day. And we have something new to experience soon (also by Mike’s Landscaping)…
Bonfires here we come!